[Classic] Yu-Gi-Oh! meets V:TES [10/19/2002]

As promised.  This even has relevance to a conversation I had last night.

*  *  *

Overheard at a game convention …


J:  YG, you shouldn’t have tapped all of your minions on your last turn.  Now, you can’t block my bleeds.  For my first action, Ozmo does a Scou-ting Mi-ssion bleed!!  You lose three pool YG.
YG:  J, you’ve fallen into my trap.
J:  What?
YG:  While it’s true that normally I couldn’t block you because all of my minions are tapped, I play this card – Wake With Evening’s Freshness!  Wake With Evening’s Freshness allows the chosen vampire to attempt to block and play reaction cards as if untapped.  And, I choose Aisling Sturbridge … who attempts to block.
J:  That’s a strong defensive card YG.  But, you haven’t successfully blocked my attack yet.  I play Swallowed by the Night to give Ozmo plus one stealth.  Now my vampire has one stealth and yours has zero intercept.  I guess my attack gets through and you take that three pool loss after all YG.
YG:  Not so fast J.  You forget that Aisling Sturbridge can also play reaction cards due to the Wake With Evening’s Freshness.  I play Enhanced Senses for intercept …
J:  Then, I’ll play Cloak the Gathering for more stealth.
YG:  J, you should have let me finish announcing the terms of my card before playing that Cloak the Gathering.  Aisling has superior Auspex, so I play Enhanced Senses at superior.  At inferior, Enhanced Senses adds only one intercept.  At superior, it gives plus two intercept to the reacting minion!  You’re going to have to raise your game to another level if you want to beat me J.
J:  Plus two?  That means Aisling’s intercept matches Ozmo’s stealth, which means that Ozmo will get blocked.
YG:  That’s right J, unless you have more stealth.
J:  No … The attack is blocked.  We go to combat.
YG:  Do you have any prerange cards J?
J:  No.
YG:  Neither do I.  Do you maneuver J?
J:  I don’t maneuver.  I strike …
YG:  Wait a moment J.  I play Apportation at superior!  At superior, Apportation provides my minion with a maneuver.  I maneuver to long range which means that Aisling Sturbridge won’t take any damage from a hand strike.
J:  Well YG, I wasn’t going to strike with hands, anyway.  I play Dodge!  A strike:  dodge means that Ozmo won’t be affected by Aisling Sturbridge’s strike.  As I’m sure you were planning to play a strike effective at long range, I think I win this one YG.
YG:  You’re right J but not about winning.  I *was* going to play a strike effective at long range.  I still am!  I play Theft of Vitae, a strike that can steal blood or life at long range.
J:  But, it won’t do anything because I played Dodge.  Seems like I’m not the only one who makes boneheaded rookie mistakes YG.
YG:  So, you think it’s a rookie mistake J?  It isn’t and you’ll soon see why.
J:  Uh, okay YG, whatever you say.  For my next action …
YG:  Hold on J, this combat isn’t over yet.
J:  It isn’t?
YG:  No.  During the press step, I play Apportation at inferior.  At inferior, Apportation provides a press only usable to continue combat.  If you don’t press to end combat, combat goes another round.  Do you press to end combat J?
J:  No.  I guess we go to another round of combat.  I have no prerange cards.
YG:  Nor do I.
J:  I don’t maneuver.
YG:  Nor do I.
J:  I strike …
YG:  Just a minute J, I have a card to play before strikes are declared.  I play Blood to Water at superior!
J:  Blood to Water?  What does that do?
YG:  Blood to Water, in this case, burns blood off of the opposing vampire.  At inferior, it would burn three blood off of Ozmo.  But, I’m playing it at superior, so it burns five blood off of Ozmo.  Because you moved one blood from Ozmo to your pool during your master phase using the Blood Doll you played on Ozmo earlier this turn, Ozmo is now empty of blood.
J:  Ouch!  I don’t have another Dodge, so I strike with hands.
YG:  Very well J.  Now, to complete the combo, with this card I just drew replacing the Blood to Water I just played, I play Walk of Flame! at superior!!
J:  Walk of Flame!  That does aggravated damage, doesn’t it?
YG:  Yes J, it does.  Walk of Flame at inferior wouldn’t have made a difference as the first point of aggravated damage would only send Ozmo to torpor and the point of damage from a hand strike would have done the same.  But, at superior, Walk of Flame does two points of aggravated damage.  Because your vampire is empty, the second point of damage will burn your vampire!  I’m sorry J, but Ozmo is … destroyed.

… After this action was completed, the remaining three players searched their libraries and collections for Garrote cards and proceeded to messily and slowly slit the throats of YG and J.

Everyone, trust in the heart of the cards [especially your ultrarares and watch an episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! sometime if you haven’t to watch a show about playing a CCG].  Jim, archive if you want.

 

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