All The Win?

It actually wasn’t that long ago that I played some V:TES.  I just don’t have a lot to comment upon.  If I were plugged in, I would hope that there would be a bunch of Origins/Week of Nightmares threads about the state of the game, but I would imagine a lot of people needed to get home and/or back to work, and, if you were there, you possibly got plenty of that.

I’m not sure why, maybe looking at one of my old decks, but I got to thinking about this question:

What card would I most want to win a V:TES TWDA-eligible tournament with?

Which, of course, led to the less elegant question of:  What deck would I most want to win with?

The second question should be shelved.  Primarily, I think there are too many roughly equivalent answers in my case.  And, right this moment, it’s not so much any specific deck but just any deck I would find amusing to win with.

So, back to card.

The first criterion would reasonably be a card that does not presently exist in the TWDA.  But, does this hold up?  Wouldn’t it be pleasing to win with Elisabetta Romano?  Yet, there are two TWDs with her, including one from some guy with the initials LSJ.  Both are rather amusing.  So, why go to that same, overplayed well a ridiculous third time?

Bear-Baiting is an example of a card that would be amusing and doesn’t show, but isn’t it just one of many that can be thrown into the pile of “Look at the stupid cards I can play and win with!” coasters.

Certain cards call out to people.  In theory, there’s a card that both calls out and doesn’t show in the TWDA, and that might be the card.

As of 2012-10-26, there were 419 library cards and 140 crypt cards with no representation.  Why that date?  That was the date that I pulled someone’s list of counts of cards from the TWDA.  I haven’t tried to find a more recent list.

Now, I’ve often built tournament decks with an eye towards crypts rather than libraries.  In many cases, it wasn’t about a single crypt card as it was a clan that sucked.  I’m less interested in examining crypt cards today, as I think there are more interesting cards to call out with library cards.

Ahriman’s Demesne is a card I’ve tried in two or more decks and never did anything with, though I do find the idea of a Lasombra intercept combat deck appealing even if they’ve all been awful at ousting people.  Plus, that I’ve personally banned Conditioning and Govern the Unaligned from my tournament decks makes it that much harder to find the ousteriness.

I have generally liked non-unique allies.  Ananasi Vampirephile was a card that I found somewhat charming, but I never did much with it.  Then, the “Tunnel Runner before Tunnel Runner” got coasterized by Tunnel Runner.  Not feeling the OMG moment, but maybe it would make a top 5 list.

There are actually quite a few cards I could comment upon, but we don’t have all day.

Blessed Resilience – this seems like a strong candidate.  I had reasonable chances, maybe even good chances if I played better, to win with a Blessed Resilience deck, and it’s a card I enjoy as I like the idea that my vampires are simply “burn options”.  I want to do some combat thing or whatever rather than the Force of Will deck I played, so it could be a really messed up deck, though probably not a good enough deck to win with if it tries to do combat and burn its own vampires with two superior disciplines.  And, I’m not a superstar deck nor combo player, so hyperfocus on some play wouldn’t make much sense.

I’m all in favor of trying to make unreprinted and/or forgotten cards functional, like Body of Sun, but it’s really not a very interesting card outside of the casual “I turn into a dragon and kill your ass” decks.  Speaking of which, going out of alphabetic order for a moment, Mythic Form used to appeal to me for its ultrarareness and amusing thematics, and it’s not quite as many hoops as BoS, but I think the two cards actually steal each other’s thunders when it comes to winning with them.  Plus, somebody could just drop one of each in a real deck and claim cred, even though I find that an abhorrent practice.  Sure, a one-of that fits organically in a deck is fine, but it should be natural.

Children of Osiris has such a cool name.  But, hosers?  Hosers that are tech are cool.  The one deck in which a bunch of hosers could be thrown into that don’t address any particular metagaming strategy is the Pariah deck.  But, what gain is there really for these random hosers?

Meanwhile, Crimson Fury is another candidate.  It has some hoserish aspects, but it’s mainly for the Force of Will decks of the world, even a Blessed Resilience deck …

So, Drink the Blood of Utter Awfulness, er, Ahriman.  I’m Ahriman’s guy (but not gal, as I’m not that interested in the Ahrimanes) and all, but after playing a DtBoA deck in a major tournament, I went up to The Lasombra and apologized to him for playing such a crappy deck.  I continued to think of ways to improve a strategy around it, but I had to mentally scourge myself repeatedly to never walk down this Ahriful path ever again, no matter how many goofy ways one might want to leverage the card.

Extremis Boon is top 5.  No doubt about that.  However, it would be a hollow victory indeed if it wasn’t actually played in the finals, for the win.  So, um, yeah, until I remember to put a copy in every one of my decks, like I keep thinking to do, the chances of this occurrence are mighty extremis.

Hatch the Viper is another “cool seeming card that I can’t get that excited by the mechanics of” card.  The amount of set up just to make this do anything worthwhile is just so much, even if I’d be okay with some Pro/Ser deck.

I guess Jackal has to make a list but certainly no Extremis Boon.  Had the two Jackal decks, only one of which I ever played.  The problem is that we don’t have a heavy Middle Eastern metagame anymore to where you were reasonably likely to accidentally gain stealth from the Jackalmeister.

Btw, I’m using Secret Library to confirm lack of winnage, which is not as good as doing some direct TWDA searches, which are probably just as easy to do – maybe just in the mood to look at a dark background rather than light at the moment.  Anyway, amazing that Jar the Soul hasn’t accidentally gotten in.  Jar the Soul was the main card in what was nearly my second TWD ever, a deck so vicious and cruel that my prey had to seat switch to be my predator and where Game of Malkav screwed me by ousting my prey.  In theory, Jar should be an easy run in HoS bleed, but does it really do anything that matters?

Off on a tangent, given how many decks I see that run a decent amount of bounce and a dearth of wakes, I’m surprised people don’t metagame more tap and bleed in such environments.  Whether it’s Aksinya only playing so many Rats’ Warnings or Keith Moody not holding down the fort, seems like there are opportunities.

Of Liquefy the Mortal Coil and Machine Blitz, Machine Blitz is much cooler.  That being said … moving on …

Malkavian Time Auction, which I believe ReverandRevolver commented was a surprising omission, is so righteous.  Unfortunately, it means playing with Malks, and Malks are opprobrious.

There’s a card I’m loath to mention, as I’ve built the deck and had the key concept worked out for years, but I just can’t pull the trigger.  Or, alternatively, when tournaments come around, I completely forget some of my goofy ideas.

So, that takes me through the “M’s”, which seems plenty for today.  Sets me up for a part two.

Now, as utterly fascinating as readers might have found this, I’m sure it’s more interesting to those rare specimens to provide their own “I want to win with THIS!!” choices.  So, what do you all say?